I can’t believe July is almost over already! Only four more hours left. That means I only have one more whole month of summer left and I’m determined to spent it being happyyyyy 🙂
So here are some targets to help me do that:
1. Have an amazing birthday
A few months ago, I pictured my birthday like this: my three favourite people all in the same place for the first time, drinking and dancing to my favourite music out in my garden, eating food, and showing them around the places where I grew up. I imagined it to be the best birthday I’d ever had. Minimalist, but magical. For the first time, I was genuinely excited for my birthday in a way that was not at all materialist. I didn’t care about presents, I was just wanted to be with the people I loved.
But now one will be in a different country, and one refuses to talk to me and most likely won’t even say a simple happy birthday to me let alone be there for me, and only one remains. Don’t get me wrong, I love that one person and it’ll be great to see her, but my plans have had to change and it just won’t be the same as the birthday I’d hoped for. But my goal is to not let the fact that, other than my parents, I have one person in the entire world who will be there for me on the one day of the year that’s mine get me down, and still have a great day.
2. Remember to draw and paint some cool stuff
I’m not a great artist: it takes me forever to create something that looks reasonably realistic, and it’s just so much effort that I rarely do it, and eventually just forget about it. But I do enjoy it, and the satisfaction of putting so much work into something and it eventually turning out better than you’d hoped for is a great feeling! I also want to start experimenting with watercolours again!
3. Remember to practise my clarinet
I just forget! And I forget how much I do enjoy it when I do it for fun now. When I was having lessons and I had to practise so many times a week and for so long, and when I was playing really difficult things which just disheartened me when I struggled for so long, playing my clarinet lost its enjoyment. But now I’m only doing it for fun, it’s a great thing to do, and especially since I need to keep up my skills so I can join an orchestra or two when I go back to university – which I will do for my social life.
4. Keep blogging!
I’m super happy with how my blog’s going so far. I’ve been blogging for less than two months so I’m still experimenting with my mosts, but I’m really proud of it. It’s really helping me work through my feelings, and I’ve met some really lovely people who feel like I do. I’m enjoying blogging so much that I don’t think this will be much of a challenge.
5. Tidy my room
Pfft, yeah that’s probably not going to happen but I’ll put it on the list so it at least seems like I have good intentions.
6. Forget about my ex
Also not going to happen, but it’s something I feel that I should want. I don’t think I’ll properly forget him for a long time, though. Not because I’m still broken-hearted or because I want to get back together because I’m not and I don’t. I just don’t have room in my heart for true anger or hate, and so I will always be ready to forgive him, or at least to put aside my hurt, if only he will let me care for him again, but as a friend this time. I guess a more realistic target is to be be optimistic, but patient. Also unlikely, but we’ll see…