Category: Creative Writing

Only Love

I don’t forgive you but I still love you,
It’s only that love that I want to give you,
I won’t hurt you, or abandon you,
I’ll always be there for you,
Do anything for you.
It seems you just don’t want me to.
I have scars on my soul because of you.
You hurt me so much but what hurts me still
Is that you won’t let me talk to you.
I have so much love in my heart to give you,
To give everyone.
But no one wants me to.
I would do anything for any of you,
If you were sad I would cry with you.
I’d feel your pain as though it were my own,
And I would hold you in my arms as long as you wanted me to.
Why won’t you let me?

I don’t have room for hate in my heart,
I try but despite everything I just can’t hate you.
Some part of me does, that’s true.
But the moment you say you’re ready
I will throw that part away all for you,
But you never will, will you?

No Notifications

I was feeling lonely this morning,
With no one for company.
So I sent some texts out to my friends
To stop me feeling lonely.

My lips turn up in a hopeful smile
As I go to find my phone.
Surely they’ve replied by now!
But nope… I’m still alone.
No notifications.

It’s been an hour! All three are busy?
But I have love to give!
Why are they all busy now
When… Oh. They’ve all been active.

They must have seen my messages;
I’m just not worth a reply.
It takes five seconds to type out to me
Sorry, I’m busy, but hi!

Or maybe they’re not busy.
Maybe they just don’t like me.
I’m boring, a chore, a task they’ll put off.
But they don’t know what’s in my head
When I’m so lonely.

No notifications.
Might as well say no friends.
You’re not worthy of being happy.
Not good enough.
Not for those on whom you depend.
They don’t need you.

No notifications.
When I do it’s a rarity.
No one wants to talk to me
Like I have no personality.
Like if they just gave me a chance
I couldn’t make them happy.
I might make them laugh,
Or be there when they cry.
I would love them endlessly
If only they gave me the opportunity.
All it takes is a simple text,
And I’ll be there for you.
My heart is easily given.
All it takes is a simple text
And I’ll never neglect you.

Hello

What if I don’t like you?
Or you don’t like me?
Maybe I’ll say nothing and I’ll
Sit there silently.

You’ll think I’m rude or stupid
Or maybe I’m just dull.
I have nothing to speak of
And nothing in my skull.

But what if I’m just shy?
I’m terrified of you.
You sit there so relaxed
But I don’t know what to do.

Should I say hello?
That’s the right thing to do?
Or hey or hi or howdy
Or how goes it with you?

Should I shake your hand?
Or d’you think that is too formal?
What is it that I should do
For you to think I’m normal?

I just don’t think I know
What people want from me.
I’m afraid of doing wrong;
Of being unmannerly.

So I guess I’ll just be safe,
And sit there silently.

Untitled Poem

I was nothing,
Unwanted,
Unneeded,
Unnecessary,
Unworthy.

Drowning in misery,
A pit of shame,
My river of sorrow.
Drowning on my own.
And I welcomed it.
Alone.

Soul crying, weeping,
Reaching out for you.
I needed you.
But you weren’t there.
I was empty,
Meaningless.
Where are you?

But I am not alone.
I am not yours to own.
I have hearts which will reach back to mine with open arms
When I want them most.
Waiting for me,
Caring for me.
The way you don’t.

And so now I know
That next time my heart is breaking itself
And I am drowning in my own tears,
That pit of shame,
That river of sorrow,
I won’t be crying out for
Someone who won’t
Be there to listen.

Stretching Elastic

I pull away from you, pulling, pulling, further. Away. The bond between us, connecting you and I, the one that will always be there, that cannot be erased, tightens. Pulls me back. It doesn’t want us to be apart.

Those memories keep us together. We will always be together, in those memories, at least. And as I try to pull away, they get stronger and stronger, tighter, tauter, like stretching elastic.

I am further away from you. I think about you less and less. I have other people who do want me, who I can talk to, who I can see. Time is passing, and I am healing, moving on from you.

But as I need you less and less, I want you more and more.

That bond is reaching its breaking point. If I keep pulling, it will either snap, and I will be free of you, or I will be sent flying back to you.

Let me in.

Make it so I can stop pulling. So we can be close, but not too close. So that our pain will heal, but our happiness remain.

This elastic doesn’t have to break. We don’t have to be broken.

Let me in.

Just Friends

I long for the day when this heaviness will lift
When the pain will shift
Into happiness, into freedom, into joy.
When we can be friends, just friends,
And when we care for each other again,
And let the hatred and anger fly free.

Am I being naïve?
Maybe it will never leave.
Maybe I am dead to you and
Maybe one day you will be dead to me.
Maybe you’re right and we shouldn’t try,
Because I know that at times it will make us cry.
But I love you, and I need you,
As a friend, I now see.
I love you.
As a friend.
But do you love me?

Forgiveness

Anger resumes in me,
Consumes me,
Exhumes me,
From the depths of what could have been love.

My heart, it feels used
And mis-used.
Abused,
And bruised,
But I refuse
To let you win.

This isn’t me,
This anger, it’s your gift instead.
But I can break this cycle,
The circle of rhymes,
The hatred rolling
Around in my head.

My innocence turned black,
And it’s true that
I can never go back
To the girl that I was.
You changed me,
Blamed me,
Chained me
To guilt and to anger,
Ashamed that a part of my past
And my heart
Will forever be yours.

But I am strong now.
I will not let you define me,
Confine me
To that hatred and despair.
I will forgive,
Not for your sake, but for mine
So that I can be fine,
No, more than fine.
I will be happy
Without you.